The best gift I received when I was diagnosed was from a fellow survivor and ironically the one who wisely pointed me towards a breast center. Anticancer: A New Way Of Life by David Servan Schreiber, MD, PhD gave me hope and a feeling of control. This is now my go-to, “welcome to the crappy…
Looking Back, Post 5
I wrote my cancer series when I first decided to start my blog. To clarify, I am not a writer who takes an assignment and writes. My words come from my gut. They are visceral. One Sunday I pulled out my cancer binder and began flipping through pages. Reading lab results, mammogram reports and copious…
The Interview, Part 4
The date of my mammogram was November 5th. The day of my biopsy was November 12th. In short, it was an agonizing wait. We did not tell the kids because we obviously hoped it was negative. To be honest, I can’t even remember telling my parents, or when I told them. It had to have…
The Answer No One Wants. Part 3
I’m in trouble. It’s all I could say. I didn’t know how much trouble, but I knew by the way they were acting that this was not good. He was working and couldn’t leave. I really couldn’t have a conversation, so now he was just as anxious as I was. Texting my mother was out…
I’m In Trouble. Part 2
Do you know how long it takes to get a mammogram when you are worried about something? Do these people understand that they should have special spots for mothers with young children who are freaking out and positive that Mr. Google has told them they are dying? What do you mean three weeks? With nothing…
You Can’t Run From Cancer, Part 1
I remember it like it was yesterday, although it is a time in my life I try to forget. But do I want to forget it? Afterall, my children were still babies. Who really wants to forget that precious time in their lives? At first it was a dull pain. It was periodic and barely…
Learning Differences, A Teacher’s Perspective
Hi readers! Today I am sharing the pen with someone who has first-hand experience working with students who have dyslexia. She has shared with me numerous times about how these students have changed the way she looks at learning differences, so I asked her to share a bit of her story with you as well. …
The Grief Narrative and Our Transgender Children
Nearly six years deep into our transgender journey, I still struggle to understand the grieving process many parents describe. It is a pervasive narrative for parents of newly transitioned children, no matter the age of transition. Commonly, parents describe a feeling of loss over the gender of the child, a name, or for future events. …
Equality and Non discrimination Statements
Most companies and organizations have one important thing in common. If you visit their websites or look at a job posting, you will likely find the equality and nondiscrimination statement. Most of us just gloss over it. After all, it is just legal jargon and really doesn’t mean anything, right? Today, we are digging a…
Dear Jan
Hi friends! Today I am going to introduce a new feature on the blog called “Dear Jan.” This blog was born out of the need to build a positive space for marginalized communities and to educate those who support these precious people. In order to best support and educate, I am going to be taking…
Big Announcement
Children who see themselves in books feel empowered. Stories help us to feel brave, seen, and important. That is why I have been working on our first children’s book and parent companion novel. Follow alongside me on this journey.
5 Strategies For Parenting Return to School
I woke up this morning the same way I always do. I have a 6:30 am start so I can lay in bed and look at the news for the day. It is not surprising to see the same thing that we have been watching for 18 months. The country is desensitized to the raging…
Signaling Safe Spaces for Trans Youth
Transgender and non-binary youth should not have to disclose to adults to find affirming spaces. We need to signal safe spaces for our kids.
Healthy Coping Strategies as We Return to School
Today I spent the entire day pulling together calendars for my four children. Every minute of my Sunday. My anxiety is through the roof. Let’s explore some ways to model healthy stress management.
Teens and the Use of “Gay” As a Slur Word
“Mommy, I’m almost embarrassed to tell you.” My ears turn on and I am ready for a tough conversation. We’ve been here before and I know it will be heavy. I had just picked him up from a highly anticipated sleepover. We had travelled an hour south back to our old neighborhood for a sleepover…
Space Camp & United Airlines
If yo’ mama jokes were still socially appropriate, you can bet I would take the cake. Last February I got a wild idea to send my kids to Space Camp. Just the two older ones because my daughter attends Camp Aranu’tiq. Just like you, we are going crazy in the house with way too many…
Iritis & Anxiety
It is funny the things we take for granted. As a writer, I am incredibly dependent on my ability to see words on paper. While I often dictate into my Notes app while I am thinking, there is nothing like looking at pen on paper. The editing process is cumbersome. Finding the right word and…
The Potential Danger of Academic Expectations
As the summer days start to grow shorter, my mind is beginning to think about back to school and what that means for my children. As you are aware, I am the mother of a transgender child. Obviously, this fact in and of itself is cause for back-to-school angst. But today I want to focus…
Dyslexia and Memory Recall
It is a common misconception that Dyslexia can be defined by flipping letters like a mirror. In fact, Dyslexia is a complex rewiring of neural pathways that create brilliant, out of the box thinkers. It can also create anxiety in these highly intelligent people.
Is Being Transgender A Mental Illness?
Before I met my daughter, I did not know a transgender person. Growing up in the 80s and 90s, Sally Jessy Raphael would flaunt her red glasses and Maury Povich would sensationalize people under the guise of an interview. In these seemingly polite, congenial conversations, transgender people who transitioned later in life, discussed their transition….
Teachable Moments
I realize just how clueless I was about parenting when I was a young mother. What seems obvious and easy was nothing close to either. Fortunately, I am blessed to have many mom-friends who have been just a step or two ahead of me. They continue to bestow nuggets of wisdom that stick with me…
An Educators Role In Affirming Transgender Youth
A national survey by GLSEN has found that 75% of transgender youth feel unsafe at school. The survey concludes that those who persevere have significantly lower GPAs. These students are more likely to miss school out of concern for their safety, They are less likely to continue furthering their education after high school. So, what…
3 Ways To Instill Work Ethic
Funny the moments that make me think about how to instill work ethic in my small business and family. Having dropped my kids at school, my taste buds become alive. I am preparing for the rich, creamy cappuccino I have grown to love. I park my car and approach the door. Rise Up! is the…
Pencils Have Erasers For A Reason
He was a tall, slender boy with a soft mop of chestnut hair and grey-blue eyes. His father, a local school bus driver, would bring him to me for his regular appointments. We tend to build relationships with our clients, some for a few fleeting moments and others for many years. This was one of…
Bees & Speed Bumps
This year for my birthday I bought myself a beehive. After painstakingly scouring the internet I settled on a vendor on Etsy who handmakes beautiful hives. These raw-wood masterpieces have windows so that my children would see the bees and we could learn about their interconnectedness with our world. I had dreams of teaching them…
Star Trek & Sleep Time
Do you ever stop to think about the odd things in life that give us comfort? An old t-shirt, a favorite meal, or maybe a certain smell. For me, it is a TV show. Admittedly, I’m a bit of a Trekee. For most of my life, Star Trek has been part of my bedtime routine….
In The Blink of An Eye
In the blink of an eye. A tiny steel ball that is just half an inch in diameter. A five-year-old. A moment. That was all it took for a nearly fatal disaster to occur. In the blink of an eye, things can change. I strongly believe that this tiny steel ball was meant to be…
What Does It Mean To Have A Good Life?
I remember taking a philosophy class as a freshman at the University of Maryland. We would read, debate, and write about the following question: “What does it mean to have a good life?” Sit with this question for a moment and consider your frame of reference for a good life. Think about how your good…
An Educator’s Role in Affirming Transgender Children
A national survey by GLSEN has found that 75% of transgender youth feel unsafe at school. The survey concludes that those who persevere have significantly lower GPAs. These students are more likely to miss school out of concern for their safety, They are less likely to continue furthering their education after high school. So, what…
A Letter to My Cis, White Sons
It is the year 2021. My hope is that you are reading this and have grown to be strong, happy, healthy men. That you are respectful of all people. I hope that you model this respect not only with words but also with your actions and choices. I hope you are agents of change and pressing…
Holidays Of Exclusion
I recently spent some time talking with a friend on Mother’s Day. She shared the hurt that she feels being a childless woman on Mother’s Day. Every single day she aches for a baby, but Mother’s Day just feels worse. In short, I can see why. Ads leading up to the day are geared towards…
Finding Our Way Through Dyslexia
January 26, 2012: “I love these chick eggs. I just need to take off the skeleton before I eat them.” This is what my four-year-old son said while eating chickpeas. From where I’m sitting, my life is like a chick egg. It all makes perfect sense to us. We don’t think about our kids being…
Pride Is More Than Corporate Parades & Floats
It has been five Pride’s since my daughter shared her truth with us. Pride means a lot to my daughter. She understands it to be a special time for people to come together to celebrate their differences. To relish in our individuality and support others like her. During her first Pride, she wore her very…
Three Things We Can Learn From Nature
You know from my reflection about the bird nest, that I firmly believe we can learn everything we need to know from nature. As Spring begins to unveil its gloriousness, I am reminded once again how true that is. This past weekend, my family discovered a very large turtle on our property. As I watched…
Socks Don’t Have Penises
Recently, I had a candid conversation with a very close friend. She shared that my transgender child is lucky to have us as parents. She says that she would have challenged her child if they had spoken their truth. This comment completely flips my perspective on its head. It has never occurred to me to…
Peaceful Drops of Rain
Water is a magnificent force of nature. It is still and gentle like a snowflake. Calming, like a drop of rain. Peaceful. On the other hand, that same drop of water, while appearing to be dainty and harmless can, over time, etch a hole into stone. I believe Lucretius said it best, “the drops of…
Disrupter
“Let’s conjure up, from the depth of our souls: The truest, most beautiful lives we can imagine. The truest, most beautiful families we can fathom. The truest, most beautiful world we can hope for.” ~Glennon Doyle, Untamed, 2020 I feel lost. Succumbing to the undertow and being swept out to sea. The overt oppression, police…
The Family You Choose
“Shawls … made for centuries universal and embracing, symbolic of an inclusive, unconditionally loving, God. They wrap, enfold, comfort, cover, give solace, mother, hug, shelter and beautify. Those who have received these shawls have been uplifted and affirmed, as if given wings to fly above their troubles…” Written in 1998 by: Janet Severi Bristow Do…
5 Things You Can Do to Calm an Anxious Heart
It seems that there is some sort of scary or depressing news at every corner. As a result, you would be hard-pressed to find someone who is not suffering from some sort of anxiety these days. Just last night I marveled at the incredibly long lines at the gas station while inwardly hoping that we…
3 Things My Trans Daughter Taught Me Through a Game of Capture the Flag
After a full day of work, I come home to pick up my older two children to take them to soccer practice. My daughter is patiently waiting for me by the door. Typically, this is not a good sign. “Mommy,” she said, “we need to talk. School was not good. I’m coming to ride in…
When a Simple Call Changes Everything
“Do you have time to talk?” My stomach hits the floor as I read these words from my children’s school. All of my readers out there who are parents know that feeling, don’t you? The heart quickens, the sweat starts to bead up on your forehead. I feel like this feeling intensifies when it pertains…
The Cup
It was a warm March day and I was on my back deck basking in the glorious sunshine. At least that is what I wished I was doing. Instead of resting and enjoying the sunshine, I was actually feverishly transferring a monogram onto a shiny, rainbow wine glass with a tool that looked like a…
Nurse Phillip
I still remember it like it was yesterday. There he was, sitting behind the desk in the elementary school nurse’s office. Handmade art adorned his walls. Superheroes, rainbows, and typical school nurse warnings decorated his space. Wash your hands signs, Band-Aids, a cot in the adjacent room. I remember every single detail. Students clearly loved…
Swimming Against the Waves
Time is a precious and sought-after commodity when parenting. It’s so easy to remind other parents to take time for themselves. In order to parent effectively, we must fill our own bucket. Put on our oxygen mask first. We say these words to our friends and hear them in return. But, does anyone out there…
5 Things I have Learned Being the Parent of a Transgender Child
As a parent of a transgender child, there are surprising truths that I learn every day. My life is full of quiet, yet unrelenting fear. As a white, cis, heterosexual, woman, I never realized the challenges that face the trans community. Since the moment my daughter shared her truth with us, we have feared for…
The Mammogram
It has been seven years since my shocking diagnosis. Seven years since I faced the unimaginable. Breast cancer, or any cancer really, is a devastating and life-altering journey that changes you forever. Now, just one week before my annual mammogram, I look at the date and my pulse quickens. My breath is evasive and a…
The Danger of Laws that Govern Access to Medical Care
Should legislators have the right to enact laws governing access to medical care? According to Texas, they should. Recently, Texas legislature has taken up SB1646: Relating to the protection of children, including the definition of child abuse and the prosecution of the criminal offense of abandoning or endangering a child. Horrifically, the language of the…
Pivoting to the New Normal
The feel of his skin under my fingertips is cool, unbroken, and rugged. It feels so different from the soft skin of a newborn that I remember, yet all the while has a familiarity to it. His shoulders are now broad. His nose is more defined and chiseled. The most noticeable change is that the…
Precariously Poised on the Precipice of Puberty
Precariously poised on the precipice of puberty, she awaits. She has known her authenticity since she was born. Thankfully, she is brave enough, or most importantly free enough, to share it with us, her parents. Five years and many months since that day, I no longer remember the boy I birthed. I adore this beautiful…
When a Pause Means More Than a Moment in Time
A pause is an opportunity to take a breath, a moment. We pause in times of distress or before we make big decisions. The pause gives us room to be, space to live, time to take things in and survey the landscape. The pause is a gift. It is a reprieve we are given or…
When Our Kids Are Attacked- Instinct Kicks In
I have a flower box hanging outside of my dining room window and every year I fill it with beautiful plants and flowers. This past spring was like most others in that I planted some sweet seedlings with the intention of marveling as they grew. But this spring was also a little different. As a…
The Weight of the Words
On this Transgender Day of Visibility, Jan Moore reflects on taking a stand and shouting I AM HERE.
She Deserves To Play
I am the mother of a young girl who enjoys moving her body, is an amazing teammate and wants to play sports. In other words, she wants to do something that should be within her fundamental rights to do. The reality is that I am a mother of a ten-year-old transgender daughter and because of…
Mental Health Minute
Everything changes. Routines disrupted. School closes. Businesses board up. Surgeries are canceled. People start to die. Next, the air is sucked out of the room and panic seeps into that space. Thankfully, here we are a year later with more light at the end of the tunnel than we have seen in a while. The…
Brunch
There she sat, across from me at the Bob Evans. Our daughters were in elementary school and very dear friends. I invited her to brunch that day to discuss something heavy over coffee and pancakes. We spoke about how much the girls enjoy spending time together and that my daughter absolutely loved her many border…
Pregnancy and Pillboxes
So my good friend calls me the other day to fill me in on her recent experience at the endocrinologist. She previously shared her nervousness about the appointment because she was seeing a new practitioner. Her beloved endo had retired last month, so I was anxious to hear how the appointment went. “I don’t know…
Elixir
The silent hum on my wrist alerts me to her presence. Hurriedly, I finish up what I am doing and sprint out the back door. She bounds towards me carrying the elixir of life. Thankfully, she has coffee. Not just any coffee, but the coffee that she hand roasts for her small business. I am…
Join Me
I couldn’t think of a better day to launch my blog than Zero Discrimination Day. According to the United Nations, this day is dedicated to “highlighting the urgent need to take action to end the inequalities surrounding income, sex, age, health status, occupation, disability, sexual orientation, drug use, gender identity, race, class, ethnicity and religion…
A Lesson In Surviving Family Photos
Fall is the kick-off of my favorite season. Pumpkin spice anything, leaves, and finally a break from the heat and humidity. I don’t think I’m alone in loving that the routine has settled in and, although it is insanely busy, we have a schedule and places to be. Rounding into the season of pumpkin carving,…