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Maintaining Friendships as an Adult

Maintaining friendships as an adult can be challenging. This is my story.

The silent hum on my wrist alerts me to her presence. Hurriedly, I finish up what I am doing and sprint out the back door. She bounds towards me, carrying the elixir of life. Coffee. Not just any coffee but the coffee that she hand roasts for her small business. Elixir. I am grateful because she blesses me with her kindness almost weekly and we steal moments together connecting over shared stories and her restorative tincture.

To clarify, I have a slight addiction. It became clear when Duncan Donuts and Starbucks began tasting burned on my palate. I had officially turned to the dark side. Like tasting different flavors in a wine, I can now taste the chocolate, berry, and citrus in her coffee. We talk as we sip, sharing stories of crazy encounters with employees and clients, the tightrope of schooling children during a pandemic, balancing our careers, and the constant feelings of coming up short as mothers. Sometimes we walk in circles in the parking lot frantic, worrying about what the future holds for our children, our country, and our community. In the end, we sip and walk and talk and breathe. 

Like me, she believes in community and the greater good. She teaches her children and runs her business by those principles. Our friendship is not featured on the pages of Facebook or Instagram; it is not played out in combined vacations. It is a Friday evening text asking if I’m okay or me asking about her mom. Above all, my true addiction is to our friendship, for she is my community. It is that simple.

Together we are stronger. To clarify, many friends cheer me on and lift me up from behind the scenes. It doesn’t need to be a public act or overt kindness. For these people, I am incredibly grateful. Foremost, for my friend with the coffee, the elixir of life, I owe you so much gratitude for walking me through kids, the pandemic, small business ownership, and for always being in my corner. To conclude, maintaining friendships as an adult can be overwhelming. Thank you, my friend, for making ours easy.