Tag: bullying

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How to Recognize Burnout

How to recognize burnout. Seems like it should be easy, right? I mean, we live in our bodies and we would know if we are teetering on the edge of burnout, wouldn’t we? One would think so, but that is not always the case.

Sure, there are typical signs. Depression. Anxiety. Loss of interest in things that used to give us joy. But did you know that burnout can manifest itself in small sneaky ways that compound over time? It’s true.

We have all heard of “nervous breakdowns” haven’t we? While this might be a phrase that you hear whispered in the break room about a colleague who just cracked all of a sudden, a nervous breakdown is usually the end result of a lot of warning signs that went ignored for far too long. So how do we recognize burnout? Let’s take a look.

Learning how to recognize burnout is as easy as listening to your oldest ally. Your body. The problem is that we are so plugged into technology, so busy running the rat race, that we often don’t slow down or pay close enough attention. Let’s look at some of the signs.

Physical

  1. That lingering headache that you get every single day…could be a sign. Not always, but could be.
  2. Digestive distress. When your body is always in a heightened state of fight or flight, your digestive system can suffer. You know those butterflies you get before a big event? It is not a coincidence. It is your body reacting to stress.
  3. Body pain that can’t be explained and that has baffled your doctors.
  4. Breakouts in your skin.
  5. Hair falling out.

Emotional

  1. Nervous energy. That tired but wired feeling.
  2. Sadness that is unexplained and won’t go away.
  3. Loss of interest in things that used to give you joy.
  4. Feeling foggy and unable to complete simple tasks.
  5. Avoiding things that need to be done like doing laundry, paying bills, or making a meal.

Honestly, these are just a few of the signs and symptoms, and in isolation, they may not mean burnout at all. But no one knows your body better than you do, so if your body is whispering, try to listen before it has to scream.

Now that we know how to recognize burnout, how do we combat it? Join us next week when we talk about this very topic.

 

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What Do You Do When Your Child Is Being Bullied?

What do you do when your child is being bullied in school? It can come in so many forms. Physical, verbal, cyber, overt, salacious. I remember being physically threatened in the basement of Christ On The Mountain during a teen social. The lights were dim, DJ playing “Pour Some Sugar On Me” and this behemoth girl, at least two years older than me, telling me she was going to beat the crap out of me. I was in fifth grade at a church dance when it happened. I had no idea why, still don’t.

Bullying can take many forms. It is the kid in the lunchroom who takes your lunch. The mean girls group who spread rumors about you in school. It is the adult who intimidates you into treating her child when you have said no.  Or the parent who emails to tell you to tell your child to “stand up to her” following an attempt at dialogue concerning bullying. No matter how you slice it, bullying causes that adrenaline rush, stomach clenching, heart-racing need to get out immediately, at least for me. So how do you teach your tender hearted child to stand up to children who bully in school? 

Here are five suggestions for what to do when your child is being bullied in school:

According to Ronald E. Riggio Ph.D., a child who bullies “will often pick on people who they feel won’t fight back—the people who are nice and try to get along with everyone.” In my child’s case this fits the bill. They are non-confrontational and will turn away and cry before standing up for themselves.  Continue reading What Do You Do When Your Child Is Being Bullied?

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Is Being Transgender A Mental Illness?

Is being transgender a mental illness? Before I met my daughter, I did not know a transgender person. Growing up in the 80s and 90s, Sally Jessy Raphael would flaunt her red glasses and Maury Povich would sensationalize people under the guise of an interview. In these seemingly polite, congenial conversations, transgender people who transitioned later in life, discussed their transition. In addition, family members, usually their children, would march on stage to answer questions about how the person’s “choices” harmed them.

Now seeing through the eyes of a parent, I witness the shame and harm levied against the transgender community. In fact, on a recent Super Soul Podcast Oprah described feelings of remorse for her contribution to tabloid television and committed to never “demean, diminish embarrass or dehumanize others.” I appreciate Oprah’s willingness to acknowledge the past and commitment to uplift my daughter and her peers. I too want to uplift our transgender community by highlighting four truths:

1) Transgender people are not a circus act. The majority of transgender people just want to feel comfortable in their own skin. Just like their cis counterparts, some transgender people choose to perform in the arts, on stage, and in public. To stereotype transgender people as flamboyant or attention-seeking is a generalized, oversimplified idea of a particular type of person. Simply put, it is irresponsible to further a narrative that dehumanizes any group of people. To calls into question their value to society. Further, promoting this farce strips transgender people of their uniqueness and humanity and encourages violence.

2) Transgender people do not have a mental illness. It is a learned misconception that transgender people “choose” to be trans. It is a degradable, deleterious narrative to label transgender people as crazy or mentally ill. Labeling others in this manner cements the idea that a person’s very existence is criminal and should have access to fewer rights and privileges. We see this harmful rhetoric play out time and again against marginalized communities.

3) Identifying as transgender is not rare: According to the Williams Institute, in 2016, approximately 0.6 percent of adults in the United States identified as transgender. This translates to just over 1.3 million adults. Centers for Disease Control data from 2019 reveal that 2% of students surveyed identify as transgender. These numbers are believed to be underreported for fear of reprisal due to transphobia and discrimination.

4) Shaming is harmful to everyone. Each of us has the power to listen instead of casting shame or judgment. To seek to understand those who are different from ourselves and relish in the beauty of diversity. It is time to acknowledge the enormous burden of manipulative and intentional shaming, even when it is subversive. To speak louder than those in power who use humiliation and the criminalization of the transgender community as a rally cry to their constituents.

As Oprah stated in her podcast, “what we dwell on is what we become.” It would be difficult not to dwell on the overt discrimination, segregation, and criminalization being placed on transgender youth. Elected officials have the audacity to debate their right to play sports, use an affirming bathroom, right to medical access. It is killing our transgender community. Literally.

If you are looking for resources or book suggestions, please visit our website at Narwhal Magic Kindness or the Human Rights Campaign‘s Guide to Supporting Your Gender Nonconforming Child. Please also feel free to reach out to me directly at contact@allarewelcome.blog.

So, is being transgender a mental illness. If you know me at all, you probably didn’t need to read this post to know the answer. But, I hope you walked away feeling more empowered to challenge someone who believes it is.